Saturday, August 23, 2008


It has been another hard day for Pads but he's very relieved to have weed. Sorry if that's too candid for you but it was a major worry as he had a lot of pain as the catheter was removed so the threat of having another one in if he didnt pass water soon was looming large. He's being brave and progressing very well indeed, according to the nurses. I reassured him that although he might not think he's doing well he could be unable/unwilling to move as much as he is. In bed, for example, when the nurses needed to change his sheets under him he could hold his pelvis up etc to help them slide the covers around. He may not see how he's being brave so I told him that he could be really complaining at the trial he's gone and going through but he's remarkably patient. Some children are terrified of being moved or even touched, I was told, because of the pain it causes or might cause but pads meets the pain twinges and sees them pass - just as he's been doing for the last 3-4 weeks in fact. Sure he yelps when the pain comes on but he's not remotely bitter or harsh. I have also told him it's OK to _not_ be 'brave' too in case he thinks that it's wrong to cry - I expressly said that he should feel free to blub as much as he likes and no-one would think the worse of him - least of all me.
The nurses confirmed that he could be on his way to South ward by midday tomorrow. They're trying to seek him out a single room because the environment is so important to his recovery. With the nurses and Pads' agreement mum is catching 40 winks in the play room tonight but not going anywhere far from him. Before I went tonight I was trying to help him see how many people are praying and sending their best wishes to him and pointed out that he would never have experienced such an overflowing without this illness. Earlier, he was musing about what he could do to get back some of what he's missed that his siblings have been doing. He said he would like to have a celebration with all the people who have helped or expressed their support. Mum said we dont have a big enough room which blew him away (because we have a fairly big room at our disposal).
OK - here's something remarkable about Pads that none of the others do in quite the same way: he cant go more than a few minutes without telling me 'I loves you'. This may not sound remarkable but we're not the most expressive of types.
This is a difficult time even now after the surgery has gone quite well since the consultants were certain it is not menigioma (a known to be benign tumour) but they do not know and would not comment on what it might be... So we have a nervous wait until the histology result which might not be for a week or more. Ally was saying how she has been clinging a bit to the hope that the tumor was benign but now we dont have that (so much) it is more worrying. I think we have to come to terms with the fact that we might lose him. Life is brief and uncertain and then eternity, either cast out forever or forever with the LORD. Which will it be for you?

I took this one because Pads wanted to know what he looked like with his head all bandaged up.

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